Ahhh the monthly air of insecurities.
I’m a feminist, in case you weren’t aware, and that mentality very much effects my writing.
And no, I am insecure about bring a feminist or apologizing for it.
Nor do I worry about how my feminist characters will effect sales. Mostly, because I know that treating people equally (as feminism calls for) is something that people like in their media.
No, what I worry about is being a bad feminist while I’m writing. See, there are certain tropes and cliches that I’ve grown up reading and seeing. They are bad.
One is that it’s okay for women to hit men, because women are weaker, usually a slap to the face while arguing. Well, umm, no. It’s never okay for anybody to hit another person while angry, especially not couples.
Not to mention that using that trope effectively weakens my female fighters, by downplaying their strength and fighting ability.
But I’ve found myself having to rewrite scenes because I used that trope.
So yeah, I’m catching this stuff, but I’m also still writing it. And it’s not just my feminist side. I write a lot of characters that are very different from me and how I was raised: lots of non-white people, lots of people who are well traveled, lots of urbanites from very diverse backgrounds. I worry that I’m not doing them justice either.
Despite the fact that I am writing werewolves and demon hunters, I’m still writing people. And people who exist in our world (more or less). I want to get it right, and I worry that I’m missing things. Not because I don’t care, but because I just don’t see them, either through lack of exposure or lack of awareness.
Still, I suppose I should take heart in the fact that I have nobody complaining. Nobody is pointing out my work and screaming that the men are too passive or whatever. It’s not easy balancing how the world should work with reality (and fantasy). Hopefully, I can keep seeing my conditioning and breaking it. And, hopefully, some day I’ll stop writing it.