Yes, it’s that time of the month again!
The monthly airing of insecurities! You can see what other people are insecure about here!
Me? I’m stressing about not getting my shit in gear. See for over a year now I have been a publishing machine.
I’m released one story a month, taking the odd month off to recharge my batteries. As I type this, I have over a year’s worth of rough drafts to polish, and publish.
But I’m not working like I used to.
I used to change all my social media on the regular to reflect the story coming out. In addition, to all my writing, I critiqued and beta’d for friends, too. I wrote about 30,000 words a month in rough drafts alone.
In the last month, I have written maybe, maybe, 3,000 words. Other than this blog I have pretty much abandoned social media, and the last critique I did, took me two weeks just to read the book. (FYI, I can read 70,000 word story in about six hours, normally).
I can’t seem to get my will up to do anything. I’ve barely advertised for my latest series.
I’m just… I dunno. Writing and selling is work, and I know that. And I want to be writer.
I just don’t seem to have the drive to do the work, lately.
I don’t want to find the perfect phrase. I don’t want to plug plot holes. I don’t want to polish the drafts. I don’t want to read my friend’s work. I don’t want to make covers. I don’t want to make the newsletter.
But I also don’t want to go back to the public sector and get a 9 to 5 soul sucking job either.
It’s been a real problem for like the last two months.
I’ve been trying to snap myself out of it. I love this latest series, and next week my webcomic starts.
So why can’t I seem to gather any enthusiasm? Why does it all seem too damn hard?
Whatever my issue is, I have to get it sorted out, and soon. Because if I can’t make bank by the end of this summer, I do have to go back to work. And my writing time will be severely limited then.