That’s how many minutes of sleep I got last night. 150.

My kids and husband have noticed a difference in my behavior. For the kids, it means walking soft and doing chores the first time I tell them to.

The husband can be more direct: “You’re getting bitchy.”

And we all know what the problem is. I can’t get this chapter written.

I’ve made time. I’ve outlined. I’ve talked about it. The husband and kids have left me alone to get it done. But I can’t seem to get through this. Changing the dynamic of these two characters forces changes to their actions and speech.

While nothing changes long-term, story-wise, for them, the short-term changes have me frozen. I hate what I have written so far. It’s contrived and just awful.

And I think I have to let it be awful. For now.

This is the first draft of this chapter. It’s going to be awful. While the rest of this book on version 4.2, this chapter is essentially a beta test. There will be bugs and weird crap, and I’ll figure it out. Next go around.

I have to accept the crappiness of this chapter, push through it, and move on. Not only so I can finish this book, but so that I can get some frickin sleep.